.

Tuesday, June 12, 2018

12th June 2018

Getting ignored... nice... hurting continues...

12th June 2018

Sorry for being stupid... sorry for being a dumbass... sorry for being an idiot... sorry for asking the same question over and over again... because i want to be sure... because i am insecured... because i am a fucked up... because i love you so much... because i really really want you... thats why i ask... if you wont ever like me... just tell me straight... kill me all at once... i will make my leave...

12th June 2018

Feel like i am going crazy soon...

Friday, June 8, 2018

8th June 2018

What would be the best birthday gift for me?... I want nothing but... If would be best gift of my life if you ask me "would you give me another to be with you?..."

Saturday, June 2, 2018

2.nd June 2018

For goodness sake... fuck... just leave....

Wednesday, May 30, 2018

30th May 2018

I really really really love you so much.... even after you broke me... i still stayed and continued to love you... how stupid i am... and i am still being so stupid to stay and love you... but you just never see the good of me standing right in front of you... and going for another guy you are doubting... why.... why go for a guy you're doubting and unsure of.... when i can be one you can never ever doubt and will always stay and be here for you.... love you... care for you... do everything for you and with you... you dont want me to leave cos you know you might get hurt ao you can come to me.... so just fucking leave that guy now... you're not even sure if you really likes him... you say you have feelings for him... more like just infatuation feelings... if you really likes him and have feelings for him... you would not let me hold your hands... touch you and kiss you so intimately at all... ask yourself... will you let him do this to you?... I hope you wont and i will never allow you to do so.... come to me please.... i really love you and i really want to be with you.... just fuck it leave him and come back... fml... this is so killing me... you know you're hurting me dating him but you still do it... and you say you dont want to hurt me... how contradicting... i really really really want you to leave him... and come back..... please... kill me please.... really...

Tuesday, May 29, 2018

29th May 2018

I really dont know how long more i can try to survive...

JUST FUCKING KILL ME LA... WHY LET ME WATCH ALL THESE... WHY...

Friday, May 25, 2018

25th May 2018

Why is this so me...

Saturday, May 19, 2018

19th May 2018

I dont know how long i can hold... Each day is a fight for me... Each day, i felt that you two are getting closer and closer... Each day i felt that you two gonna get together for sure soon... Each day, it is killing me inside out... Each day, i pray for you to realize and come back... But, I afraid, one day when you realize and come back finding me... I may be gone... All because i love you too much and it killed me... I feel that you used ways to keep me around or pushed me around for no reasons just as you like because you know i will never leave... One day... idk when... when you push me away again and i may never be walking back again... And i afraid when/if you realize i am the one... it may be all too late...

I just dont understand... you dont even know him for a month and dont even know him much... and you're already dating him... everything could be pretentious... You said you dont want to love because you're afraid you will hurt opposite party but you're dating him... isnt that already hurting the opposite party if it does not work out... if you're afraid of hurting people you would not even date him at all...

Everything is killing me... i swear... i just want you two to stop dating... i dont want you two to be together... i dont want... selfish thinking but thats what pain made me what i am... i really wish you could just stab and kill me... just let me die... once dead, i can feel nothing anymore... nothing... really nothing could make me feel alive except for you being with me...

Maybe one day i may just die and you wont even realize it...

Friday, May 18, 2018

18th May 2018

😔😢😭😭...

Thursday, May 17, 2018

17th May 2018

My heart... really cannot take this... not even kidding... how is it possible that my heart has been pumping so fast for the whole day... fucking heavy heart and feeling damn fucking uncomfortable... why is it so hard to make you like me... why...

17th May 2018

Fml la... really fml... really can somebody just literally stab me in my heart and let me die... because knowing i can never have the one i love and watching the one i love liking another guy feels worse than death...

Saturday, May 5, 2018

5th May 2018

也许, I should really leave everything... best to end my life... Not appreciated, not cherished, i am good for nothing, worthless, hard to love, and shit...

Friday, May 4, 2018

4th May 2018

I am really tired of myself and life... can somebody just end my life with euthanasia...

Thursday, May 3, 2018

3rd May 2018

😔😔😔

Will you hear me out and comfort me... no you wont i guess...

Saturday, April 28, 2018

28th April 2018

What it feels like to die? Is it very relaxing lying down all day err day sleeping? Can i try death for a day?

Friday, April 27, 2018

27th April 2018

Haiz... so fast got another person you like... is it you just  craving to have a relationship in school... same old advice... dont hurt people and dont get yourself hurt... i can only stand one side and watch... cos no matter what i do you just wont like me... seems like you wont ever give us a chance anymore...

27th April 2018

Haiz haiz haiz haiz... can somebody just kill me... like really...

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Monday, April 16, 2018

16th April 2018

Whats wrong with me... a part of me in my head really want to die...