I dont know how long i can hold... Each day is a fight for me... Each day, i felt that you two are getting closer and closer... Each day i felt that you two gonna get together for sure soon... Each day, it is killing me inside out... Each day, i pray for you to realize and come back... But, I afraid, one day when you realize and come back finding me... I may be gone... All because i love you too much and it killed me... I feel that you used ways to keep me around or pushed me around for no reasons just as you like because you know i will never leave... One day... idk when... when you push me away again and i may never be walking back again... And i afraid when/if you realize i am the one... it may be all too late...
I just dont understand... you dont even know him for a month and dont even know him much... and you're already dating him... everything could be pretentious... You said you dont want to love because you're afraid you will hurt opposite party but you're dating him... isnt that already hurting the opposite party if it does not work out... if you're afraid of hurting people you would not even date him at all...
Everything is killing me... i swear... i just want you two to stop dating... i dont want you two to be together... i dont want... selfish thinking but thats what pain made me what i am... i really wish you could just stab and kill me... just let me die... once dead, i can feel nothing anymore... nothing... really nothing could make me feel alive except for you being with me...
Maybe one day i may just die and you wont even realize it...
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